I went to a familiar place to make me feel better and be with people I used to hang out with a lot. I have been in constant search for things that can make me feel good so when I had the chance one evening, I did not hesitate to go and see what the place that once meant so much to me could give me at this time of uncertainty.
I was welcomed by a very familiar band. The first song was heartbreaking it made me laugh. For a while, the band caught my attention because one of their songs easily became one of my favorites.
I was there to appreciate the Christmas decorations and marvel on the fireworks. Sadly, I wasn’t able to catch a good view of those highly regarded colorful explosions.
It wasn’t a bad night. While I didn’t feel the exact sense of belonging and the contentment I wish I’d have, it still felt nice to be back.
My friend and I decided to meet my best friend somewhere else. The exhaustion after a long day at work should be shooed away.
As we were waiting for the ride that would bring us to the meeting place, someone from the past sent me a message.
I wasn’t surprised. He throws random messages every now and then. I didn’t even realize that I missed him a little until he told me the news I wasn’t expecting to hear.
He’s migrating. He’s moving somewhere else. He’s leaving the town this month. Somewhere deep down, I felt a tinge of loneliness. Somewhere deep down, I felt the need to see him. Suddenly, I couldn’t understand my feelings. After a while, I shed a tear or two.
I wouldn’t say that I am very attached to this person. Besides occasional conversations, we didn’t really have much to share this year. Things have changed since he moved out of our town and I started working.
But I do remember he told me once that he’s moving overseas with his entire family. We talked about this for a while. But it was a long time ago. So I shrugged off the thought and decided not to dwell on the possibility of not seeing him again. Anyway, I could survive. Maybe it was just the thought that made me sad.
I learned that he has been busy working on a lot of requirements. He told me his flight details. He’s leaving around eight in the evening on Christmas Day. And as expected, he wanted to see me one last time before he boards that plane.
Why else would he give me details of his departure?
He complained about my busy schedule but gave me his whereabouts for his last weeks here. We agreed to have that one last date on Saturday.
He asked me to go to our hometown next week, as he would be spending a couple of days there with some of his friends. I wish I could. My work isn’t very cooperative. I do want to go. I want to personally say goodbye to his mom who has been very nice to me from the beginning.
For a moment, I didn’t understand why I felt sad. I liked this guy and we were each other’s someone special for a while. It wasn’t very long but it was certainly a nice feeling. I used to pray for a lasting feeling. It didn’t. It’s okay.
He has his way of making me feel good about myself without demanding so much from me. I somehow feel guilty for staying away.
Then came Saturday — the day we were supposed to say our goodbyes. It wasn’t as sad as expected. I realized that the feelings I felt the day he told me the news were just fueled by my day-to-day drama.
It wasn’t bad but it didn’t feel a bit romantic either. We talked a lot… about the past. He talked about his plans. I felt like I couldn’t share mine with him. It just no longer makes sense. Our puzzle pieces no longer fit.
It actually felt good meeting my friends after our supposed last encounter before he leaves. Maybe it’s their company that made me feel light or maybe it’s that feeling that I wouldn’t have any regrets. I still believe it was a happy ending.
See you soon, Kevin!