Restart

The perfect time to ditch the shitty past and start over is always the new year. At least, that’s what I think. Of course, one can always clean up the mess immediately the following day, or the following Monday, or on a birthday. But isn’t it just so inspiring to start anew on a midnight when the sky is brimming with colors and the surroundings is just so overjoyed, excited and festive?

The need to start over is always one thing that comes to my mind as a year nears its ending. I’m always filled with so much outlook in life — a long list of things I want to accomplish and things I want to change. Even though I don’t have an actual list, I always have a lot of stuff in mind. So, I’ll take a stab here. Not by jotting down my 2014 blueprint but by looking back. Oh, how I love reminiscing.

Let’s start with what I am supposed to do. I have a yearend report due tomorrow and my only day away from work is about to end soon. I haven’t started anything, although I have a good number of interviews already — not enough though since I still need more inputs. So much for my laziness.

So. Let’s see. Work? I have some sort of a love-hate relationship with my job. The past year had been better compared to the preceding one because I somehow got hold of myself and learned the ropes. However, there were a lot of twists in between that were so damn hard to untangle, I almost cut the rope! I tried… I had a pair of pink handy scissors on one hand but the rope just wouldn’t budge! So I just continued to untangle and untangle even though it was time consuming.

Not smooth. There’s no smooth road and no perfect rope so I pretty much had to deal with all the twists and turns of my job. The rope of my job, however, had some accessories — reflecting my very “maarte” personality. That’s why the rope looks like a giant replica of a bracelet with charms! These charms… these are my little bundles of joy — the learnings, the nights out with people from work, the wisdom of those in the industry, and of course, my newfound friends.

I realized that most of my closest friends at work became my friends less than a year ago and damn it, I felt like I’ve known them for years! It was so nice to recall how timid I was before… how trying I was to fit in. I couldn’t believe I found friends in the person of the BWorld kids and some really nice colleagues… hence the breakfast and coffee clubs. 🙂 It’s always nice to recall how my friendship with these people developed. Without even realizing it, they became necessities in my life like some sort of support system that I’d probably die — mentally and emotionally — without. I wish I have the perfect words to make them feel how much I care about them and how lucky I feel I became friends with them. 🙂

A set of friends outside work also acted as a healthy neutralizer and tranquilizer, hehe. :p I’d probably go insane without my best buddies Gel and Franz and of course, my girlfriends and the rest of the college kada. I still have this soft spot for the Journ2 people. I always feel like I just couldn’t let them go no matter what. There are times that we speak different words and we live in different worlds, but the bond we formed is some just too strong to ignore. So here’s to my lasting friendship with these people. And Gel, for 2014, I hope that we will have the same spontaneous spirit as Franz’s and finally get a grip of what we have always wanted. I’m still into guys, though. Hope you are, too! 😉

2013 had been a rough year for my family and I just couldn’t iron out the details. I’m just so glad we are still together to weather the storm. Hopes for 2014? A better year for my family. Good health to people close to my heart especially to my grandmother and to my little cousin. Less bad fortune, less bad vibes.

The past year was nice but it could’ve been better. So I have this year to make it better and where to start? I have no idea but maybe it would be nice to go back and nourish my spiritual life. I was lost. The more typical stuff– no matter how expected — bothered me though.

In 2013, I gained a lot of weight. Like the weight I lost when I started in this job and its getting worse, I’m almost about to exceed my heaviest weight. Don’t expect me to drop numbers but yeah, my clothes now fit me so odd, and unflattering. I must control my eating habits. I must stop stress eating. How do I do this? Let me think about it. I lost weight when I was just starting in this job… so I probably need a new job? 😉 Haha. No really. Wish I could do something.

I also regained my feelings so it was like a big hooray for me! (Not referring to fear, worry, anger and the likes since these are part of my job). I was ranting earlier last year about how much I miss crying while watching movies, how I long to feel butterflies in my stomach again. I met a number of interesting people and I eventually regained the guts to focus my eye on someone in my past. The one I used to call “the best I ever had.” It took him a lot of pursuing that started late 2012 and I finally gave in mid last year. It was such a nice feeling and I felt like a teenager again. But before the year ended, I got my heart broken. So that’s some sort of a double whammy for my precious feelings. At least I tried. It’s been a while.

I don’t know what 2014 has in store for me, but I am expecting changes — a lot of them. So thank you to all those new people I became really good friends with and the ones who remained by my side. Here’s to another year, a better year! Here’s to more fun meals and coffee nights! Here’s to new learnings and experiences to share!

Advertisements

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s