That was one heck of a year! No matter how cliché this may sound, 2012 was one long roller coaster ride.
There were so many things that happened last year. Highlights include finishing our undergraduate thesis; graduating from college; getting my first job and leaving it; staying bum for quite a long while; getting my first real job; and living a quasi-independent life. It feels like so many things happened in just one year… things I thought would at least happen in a stretch of two years or so.
Since I am no longer good at containing my thoughts, I’ll do it the conventional way. It’s boring, but what else can I do? I keep on blabbering these days anyways.
I blogged about this thing several times already, (SEE: THESIS AND FRIENDSHIPS, THESIS AND FRIENDSHIPS V.2) but I still believe that overcoming those long, tedious, “what the fuck” nights counts as one of the most memorable things that ever happened in my entire life.
Thesis writing really taught me a lot of things. Among them, of course, is the APA style that I memorized by heart.
And that temporarily ended my four-year venture in the university. While I never was the type who worry that I wouldn’t make it to graduation, I’m astonished when it hit me that I was done with it. At times, it still feels surreal and almost unbelievable.
I finished my degree in Journalism, without even getting a hang of Strunk and White. I finished my “grammar-sensitive” degree without perfecting my grammar, but who cares? Learning is a continuous process. (Lame excuse, I know.)
I stepped out of the university armed with what I learned from various class discussions, and from several people – mentors, professors, classmates, and acquaintances included. I was so eager to explore and start anew and see what the world has to offer for a fresh graduate like me.
But somehow, in the middle of all the cheers and excitement and promising new beginnings, I felt half-hearted. I didn’t want my college life to end. I was damn too attached to the ties I made in that four long years.
One day, after graduation, I just felt the need to wear the school uniform I used to hate. I wanted to prepare my things, thick readings included, and head back to room 203 where almost all my tightest and strongest friendship were formed.
Letting go of the old routine – of going to class, eating out with friends, talking about everything under the sun, making fun of one other – was one of the hardest part. It was a sign of a new beginning, but was also a sign of the moving on part, of living a whole new life with a whole new set of responsibilities.
But then again, letting go is one thing and keeping the ties is another. So I guess I still have lots of strings to hold on to.
It was so glamorous. At first I couldn’t believe that I’d end up working in a magazine as an editorial assistant. The position, while includes the ‘assistant’ tag, was sugar-coated. Who doesn’t want to directly interact with the editor and gain his trust? Part of it, of course, was to build my career. Beginner dreams. Aim high and hit the mark. Haha!
But a few weeks in the job, I realized that I became a corporate slave in the literal sense and I felt like I was Andy in the Devil Wears Prada. For one, my boss really sports Prada, Gucci, Burberry, Chanel and the likes. While I was not being questioned and judged too much by what I wear to work, I became a juggler of so many things. I answer endless phone calls and heed to the bosses demand (while walking in not-so-high heels with a Starbucks cup on one hand and shopping bags on the other).
So anyway, I was not really the complaining type, but after a lot of “me-time” I decided to leave the job because I didn’t want to be stuck in a “corrupt system” (?) I don’t know. Anyway, see story here: COLLEGE, REJECTIONS, and UNEMPLOYMENT
BUM GIRL, AHAA!
Leaving the job was not the best move. It wasn’t planned, and I just left because I had scheduled interviews one day and we weren’t allowed to absent without an “acceptable reason”, which entails a medical certificate.
For quite a while, I was stuck in front of my laptop browsing through job-search sites. It was like an endless ordeal: checking companies and researching about them; attending interviews and taking up exams; working on the requirements.
I had lots of “almost got hired” job applications, and it was kind if depressing somehow that I didn’t get in when all the signs that I was qualified were right before my eyes. But who am I to know, anyway?
Amid the long job search, I went out a lot and spent my “only bucks left” on adventurous night outs and get together. I met a lot of new people, and I never stayed at home. I became super sociable and spontaneous, but it was sad at the same time because at the end of the day, I still felt like I’m one jobless girl with a lost soul.
Then there came the first real job, and while I felt happy that I got in, the pressure really startles me. I don’t know how to talk about this, really, but I’m quite sure my friends, and family know how I feel about it. Nonetheless, I feel so blessed to get this job because really, it brings out the best and worst in me, as I always say.
The year was filled with so many “first times”. Among them were the things I already mentioned above. But probably, one of the most unforgettable experience was working on a Christmas day.
I know. I know. The job really requires me to work on weekends and holidays, and I have come to accept that fact. But I think it was kind of hard for me because I am really the family-oriented type who hates to miss family affairs and who loves to go home whenever there is a chance.
Christmas 2012 – not the day but the season itself – was one of the most important holidays for my family. My relatives from the US came home after a couple of years, and for the first time in so many years, we were complete… we were gathered under one roof.
Anyway, since I had to work on Christmas day, I decided to meet my friends just so I wouldn’t spend Christmas night alone.
I went to work a little after lunch, and worked on my stories. Workmates, milk tea, and newspapers kept me company that day. Then, just before the clock strikes 8:30, I hailed a cab and went out with two of the best people I’ve ever met in college – Gel and Franz. We went on a random videoke night and sang for almost two hours without even realizing that hours already passed. Afterwards, we stayed inside a cozy coffee shop to just chill and talk and it was priceless because I was with friends, and I was not totally sad. While it was my first time to spend Christmas night away from home, it felt like somehow, I was with my family… second family, rather.
After Christmas, I felt eternally jealous because my big and happy family went to the beach and I knew for sure that it was one hell of fun with all the kids and grown-ups enjoying the December breeze and spending quality time together.
But I was somehow glad that I made it home for my grandmother’s 80th birthday. I just realized how much I treasure my family. They make me feel happy without them even realizing it.
This includes doing a lot of things alone like eating. I started paying for my own expenses, including expensive phone bills, and rents. I learned how to budget my salary as well. This teaches me a lot of things, and I’m looking forward to remove the word “quasi” there. Someday, soon.
I just have so many things to be thankful for. I must say that 2012 was way better than 2011, and I never figured out how everything turned out to be just fine. I remembered complaining earlier that year, about how my life just suck to the bottom end, and for some reasons, it turned out good. Not perfect, but better… a lot better.
I don’t know what 2013 has for me, but it must be better. Cheers to the new year!