For the past two months, I felt like my social life was diminishing abruptly. My job was toxic, and even though the productivity every single day gives me some sense of fulfillment, I couldn’t dismiss the fact that I miss talking to my friends, and going out with them. It’s true that social networking sites somewhat give us the feeling that they are near even though they are miles apart but I couldn’t pretend that I still miss the “actuality” of being with them.
The past two weeks were hellish for me. And the mild depression I felt during my first week in the job went back, and it lasted longer… actually, it still exists. I couldn’t blog about these things that bother me because I’ve been so positive and optimistic and I would like to believe that I still am. I guess I’ll just let this feeling pass, and probably, one day I can express these emotions. (I’d like to believe that I somehow have that virtue of temperance. So, bear with me.)
So last Friday night was a great stretch. I felt like I belong to a totally different world. I was able to go out with friends, cheers to that! And of course, after a few months of heartbreaking “I miss yous” and “See you soons”, we finally had some hours to go out, catch up, and enjoy each other’s company. One thing I realized is that after finishing college, I am totally on my own. I no longer have the friends that I’ll see everyday, to whom I can share my dilemmas, and I have to rely on SMS and SNS to share my third-world problems. No, personal. That’s what I mean. It’s something I am not used to, and geez, I never thought adapting could be this hard.
I totally loved that night. Let me share about it. 🙂 At least, this could be something positive.
I was about to meet up with my college friends!! While on the bus on my way to the university (where we’ll meet up), I felt like crying because of the heavy feeling (problems in almost all aspects of my “new life”), and of course, because I will get to see these people again… after a long while. I’m just not so used to that. I was so excited I literally jumped off the bus when I came to the drop-off point, and ran towards the pavilion. I saw them… all dolled up. Some came from work, some from dorm, and of course, that one guy who kept on inspiring people like myself – our dear professor.
Somebody asked how I was. I felt like crying again. I was such a cry baby! Being with them gives some unexplained comfort. So a little bit of catching up and waiting for others to come, and off we went to our favorite pizza parlor- Shakey’s!!! The talk over the meal was priceless. We never ran out of things to talk about, and laughs to share. It’s been a while since I laughed out that loud. It’s been a while since I actually enjoyed a meal. After the meal, we decided to be spontaneous. Dear professor went home already, and I, together with most of the girls decided to cherish the night with high-pitch singing! Hahaha. And because one of us needs to be at work the following day, we chose the nearest place, Dapitan. Off we went to The Pit and Tapsi – but both will close in a few minutes, and we held on to that burning spontaneity so we hailed cabs and went to Morato. Finally, Music Match to satisfy our “videoke cravings”. We sang and danced and ate non-stop. We laughed a lot, and do all the craziest things. Girls just wanna have fun last Friday night! And of course, with not much money inside our pockets, we only stayed for an hour. Hahaha. But that one hour was oh-so priceless, and we wanted to extend the fun, so one of us, our future attorney, called her “law school friends” so that we could join them, wherever in the world they were. And we decided to chill with them. We went to Tides. It was a short ride and a long long walk, but we managed. There we saw our friend’s blockmates, and one of our friend’s boyfriend too (so much for destiny). We met tons of people, and I have to admit, I am not used to the set-up, but I actually had fun. We talked, and shared stories non-stop, and drank a little. Cheers to the spontaneity, cheers to the get together, cheers to the new worlds we were in! It felt like a big celebration, it felt like something I’d love to do everyday, if only.
We went home a little before the sun rose (maybe? Because when I woke up, it’s already a little before lunch. I wasn’t able to witness the glorious rising of the sun.) And I just felt like crying again because I was so happy and so sad at the same time. Happy because finally, I saw them, and sad because I have to wait for another month to see them again. But at least, there will be next times, and we will go crazy over random and unplanned night outs again.
The feeling was heavy, but seeing those people gave me that renewed feeling of hope. I am ready to fly, explore, and touch my inner passion again. I won’t waste this. I just felt like I am ready to take the risk and do the fall.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Gel, Issa, Ardi, Lyka, Camille, Jo Ann, Mariz, John, Ate Rose-An and Sir Jere. Thank you because I just missed you all so bad. Thank you because you made last Friday night so frickin’ memorable. Thank you because I know, I’ll see you guys again… soon! Thank you because, I felt like my social life has increased a little. I just couldn’t contain my happiness that night. If my job brings out the worst in me, you guys definitely bring out the worst in me, too – but in such a way that I am so eager to bring out the best in me! Love you guys. Next month? See yaaaa! :p