Thesis and Friendships

During our first meeting in Research in the Major Field subject, our professor told us that “thesis tests friendships”. We should choose wisely, then, the people we want to work with until the end… that is, until our senior year. We were juniors, back then. So it’s more than a year of research, writing, and critical thinking.

I have never foreseen myself working with these people, honestly, except for Gel since we’ve been partners ever since difficult and life-changing school works began. I ended up with two great people, luckily + Gel. Franz and Essen are always, all ways, dependable. I won’t come clean and perfect by saying that we didn’t stumble upon the rough roads. Probably, we just walked along them well, with little scars and wounds that were eventually covered with betadines and band aids in the end. There were lots of conflicts of ideas, shouting, misunderstandings and all. But we never came to a point when we decided to give up, to kick someone out of the group, or to carry the heavy burden of hatred by saying “I’ll just do my part, do yours, and I don’t care”. Well, let’s see. The defense is coming up and I really don’t know what to expect besides all four of us, standing in front of some kind of an audience and defending our thesis where we put our hearts into.

It’s not like we’re expecting to be the best defenders and things like that. Honestly, I think our paper is a bit shallow compared to others who did really one hell of research and statistical treatment, and the latter which fortunately we do not have. It’s a hard job, though. Analyzing, discussing and coming into a conclusion – what are we going to write in the paper. We also encountered several unanswered questions before we finished it, from our adviser and from our subject professor. It’s never easy. Thesis writing is not cut-copy-paste. One stolen idea or thought and claiming it as your own could lead to plagiarism, which is a major offense for us. We have to be cautious, and we have to accept the fact that our grammars are not perfect, and we are not very good journalism seniors and future graduates, after all. But that’s experience. It teaches us a lot. The people along the way taught us a lot.

However lucky I am with my group mates, there are just some people who aren’t and it’s sad to see them losing friendships over one academic requirement, as if a few years of solidarity is not enough to overcome a challenge needed to graduate.

And may I quote a professor,
“I know many of you don’t like thesis writing. but this is too much hatred–at the cost friendships and even self-worth.”

I never realized that there are people who can really lose friends because of thesis. Well, apparently, it happens. And along the way, people lose themselves too. I handle responsibilities well, but I kind of suck when it comes to priorities. Of course, it’s easier to do the fun thing. We all like the easy way out, but there are people, no matter how much they like that, who still choose the hard way, with the hope that everything will be worth it.

We may realize this only a few months before the most awaited graduation, but while journeying together as block mates and friends, we did not notice that we actually took most of our friends for granted, because we know that we are friends and friends should stick together no matter what, even though we sometimes act a little too dependent on them.

“Your classmates had that nerve to really abandon and then claim a right to a grade that they didn’t work hard for”. That’s how it is. There is no equal distribution of work – at home, at school, or even in simplest group seat works. But perhaps, it’s not about the quantity, but the way you involve yourself in coming up with an outcome. No matter how small you contributed, at least, you took part, and you know it. For most of us, it’s not that important. What can we do? This is our mentality. We grew up in this culture of dependence.

And my professor is definitely right. We need something that “strikes at the inner core of these people’s reputations.” If they could only take time to notice it.

Whatever happens, happens. I still wish we all graduate in time. I still hope we all pass the thesis defense. I still pray that the pains and loss caused by thesis writing be healed. I still believe that one day, people will realize that responsibilities and priorities are important, and they can enjoy life’s pleasure if they just know how to handle their freedom and talents and time well.

Anyway! Good luck fellow seniors! Break a leg. 🙂


One Comment Add yours

  1. you did it again claire.. writing one helluva blog that made us cry haaha

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