Ephemera

Decisions are the hardest to make.

When my friend Mariz called me last night and told me that she and her partner for the upcoming Mr. and Ms. Journalism pageant mutually decided to back out, I said it is fine. Not because I am left with no other options, but because I felt like she meant and needed it. Besides the fact that they did not have time to practice for the talent portion to be video-shot the next day, I understand that she is torn between two priorities.

You see, its only a week before the pageant and our class representatives just backed out. I felt like it’s a failure for me as a class president of the class, not being able to choose someone who is willing to represent the block all throughout. I felt like I barely showed my support for not being present in all the photo shoots. I felt like somehow, it was my fault for putting her there.

I remember a few times my friend Mariz come up to me and say she do not want to continue it, but I insisted because I believe in her, I believe not only in her beauty and her brains, but also in her determination to surpass all the challenges that comes her way. And honestly, I actually thought she’d enjoy it knowing that she had a background on stuff like that.

But failing as the class president is just half of the story. When she called, pursuing, encouraging or nagging her to continue did not ever cross my mind because I just felt I don’t need to. Besides, I understand what she’s going through… well partially. But after the call, I did not regret what I said. I did not regret that I felt its the best thing to do.

What I did was I immediately texted the society’s project head, and explained, not only hers, but our part. And then, I texted two officers and friends of mine, one of which I am very fond with, and explained. They did not reply. Afterwards, I found myself texting two other friends, asking them if they could still come to the pageant because I want to go, in support for my other block mates, of course. The least that I can do, I suppose.

I hope the society officers understood Mariz, and my block for backing her up for the decision she made. Knowing Mariz, she loves to do things she really is passionate about, and she wants to excel and enjoy at the same time. So, what’s the point in continuing something that doesn’t make you happy as time passes by?

The inevitable is the opposition. Well, questions did cross my mind. We are not the only section who’s damn busy with tons of school works, why are we the only ones who can’t take part in the event? Can’t we just show support to our block mates who are part of the society?

We are the only ones because our representatives have priorities, and as much as we wanted to support the pageant, there are things that keep us from doing so. Sometimes, quitting is the best option. I would not like to see Mariz and TJ going to the pageant with no block mates to cheer them up. This I have foreseen considering the fact that I gave a pre-deadline today for the MMJ fee, and besides I, Mariz and Candisse, nobody paid. Much more I learned from the conversations that I had with my block mates. They don’t have time, they say. Well, honestly, I don’t know if I have much time but at least I’ll try to go. Why can’t Mariz and TJ don’t want to do so? Because, they are pretty much preoccupied with school stuff, and they couldn’t even have enough time to prepare for the pageant on a Saturday morning because of, again, tons of school works.

Then why do our other block mates who are part of the society positively pulls everything up atop of all academic requirements? Because they chose to. Because they chose to be there, and they want to be there, and they love to be there, and that will bring them happiness. On the other hand, Mariz and TJ were persuaded, and somewhat forced because no other else would like to take their place. And although it may somehow give them happiness, it is not that same degree that the officers can feel, unless the academic burden lessens.

So in the end, we have to make decisions, and decisions have been made.

I just wish people would understand them, the same way that they try to understand how other people reacts.

Gel. We are really sorry for this. I know you’ll understand them, us. But then again, I’m sorry for disappointing you and Shekinah big time for missing this big event of yours. Of course, we still pray for its success because we know you deserve a major successful event, and we know you can do it. Moral support’s here, trust us. As much as we wanted to be all there, we cannot. We understand your sentiments, really.

Mariz. Don’t worry. We understand you, and some people in our block, given the situation you are facing right now, probably think that if they are on your shoes, they’d do the same thing.

We don’t know what you exactly feel right now guys, but I hope that understanding, forgiveness, and most of all, love will conquer this all. Our block will be one before, during, and after graduation. Things like things make us whole. We will stand united, through it all..

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One Comment Add yours

  1. rdsrnglo says:

    Claire… 🙂

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. :)

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