When I know I have given enough.

Oh love. Sweet love. Would it sound alarming if I post another love worry here? Not about my ex-boyfriend, but about a former crush. Anyway. Who’d bother?

One cold Wednesday evening, somebody chatted with me. It’s Ta Ods, K’s mom. K used to be a long time crush. We actually reached a fling-stage but eventually did not work out because of several things – I was in love with somebody else, I’m attending school in the city, and he seemed incapable of being a potential boyfriend. I couldn’t iron it out, but it felt that the moment we met and got the chance to be together, it was not meant to work out.

So here. We’re talking about his mother. About a year after I saw him and got the chance to be good friends, his mom saw me… through a photo posted in his facebook – a photo of two of us sitting together while eating Bicol express what. I read the comment, since I was tagged, his mom asking who I was, but K did not respond.

K’s brother graduated in high school that March, and I was there sharing the joys of Cam – my almost sister. Cam’s younger sister was dating K’s brother that time. So when Cam, her sisters, her mom and I approached the end of the ceremony, we took some photos and I met K’s cousin, other brother and mom. I am already friends with his younger brother, we were school mates before. The funny thing was that, while K and I were talking, Ta Ods approached us to pose for a picture and we did.

I and K during the grad. Photo taken by Ta Ods.

After that, I really didn’t know how many instances mine and Ta Ods’ paths cross. But I am quite sure that she’s got to know me more that day when Lolo Lauro died. It was evening of April, when our mutual friend texted me and related the sad news. I’ve been in K’s house several times because he lives just several blocks away from ours. And so, with those times, I got the chance to meet and somehow greet his grandparents. K’s not living with his parents. His ‘rents reside in Marikina, along with his sister.

I rushed towards the house and finally, I was officially introduced to his ‘rents, particularly his mother. And night by night, I go there to offer K a company, along with our friends of course. One night, Ma accompanied me to pay her last respects to Lolo Lauro. It so happened that Ma personally knew K’s family, and she also knew that I used to got an eye for K. Ma occasionally mentioned K’s name, and to my surprise Ta Ods kept on talking to me.

That started the cute relationship with K’s mom. We sometimes talk on facebook, greeted each other on birthdays, etcetera. Ta Ods even looked for me when I was missing during K’s birthday celebration one year ago.

The shock came in days before K’s 20th birthday. Ta Ods actually invited me to come over their house in Marikina. According to her, she wanted to surprise K by presenting a guest from our town – I as her personal choice. Sweet isn’t it. Knowing that K is currently in a relationship with another girl. Okay, so we actually devised a plan – a surprise visit from K’s friends here in town. I was in connivance with his mom. But on the day itself, it was only me who had the means to be there. But I thought twice. Why would I go there if I were not the girlfriend? Would it look pathetic? Why would I spend my precious time commuting here and there just to be present on K’s celebration and meet his family, on the mom’s side? Although I knew Ta Ods was expecting me, I felt like I just had enough of making him feel special and I just have to give up in continuing doing so. I did. I explained, and Ta Ods made it clear that it was perfectly plan… but she also told me that she is looking forward for K’s next birthdays. Sweet but disturbing, ha.


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